Setbacks / Why you should love your fear

  • Adi Maor Siso
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  • Dealing with fears .

Great to have you here with me. As you know, this my first post for you, and I really struggled with which topic I should write about.

Was it the overwhelmed issue many entrepreneurs are in?
Or the effectiveness topic I know women love because they can do more stuff in less time.

But then I realized, before I could talk about either of them, I need to address the most problematic situation of them all – FEAR.

There’re two sides of fear as I see it.

On one hand, fear can be paralyzing!
All the bits and pieces of our thoughts are mixed together to create a completely new Drama feature … Everything out of proportion and bigger than it seems – and after all that We do NOTHING…

On the other hand, for us (motivated women) the fear can strike from another direction.

What would happen if I’ll do everything right, by the book, and still fail? What does it say about me then?”

We take everything personally!
Failure that comes after we did our best, full of motivation – and still didn’t succeed, can be even painful…

So what should you do next time that FEAR glance your way?  

This fear, that little creature that pecks in your mind, is there for a reason.

Mostly it’s there to signal you something. It’s almost like a survival instinct that meant to keep you in a safe and familiar place. That’s why every first step you’ll take, every change or big project, will be accompanied by different fears.

To deal with them you should start with this Q:
“What does the fear come to flag me about?”

You can even take another step and treat the fear like a different entity from you completely.
Give it a look and a name and try talking to it.

Really. I’m not kidding. It works!

There is no reason you should repress it or shut it out.
No one likes to be shut out or rejected. Not even your fears
“They” will just get bigger and bigger.

But if you could ask it why it’s here, and what is it protecting you from – then you’ll get some real answers! Then you can REALLY recognize what’s in it for you if you choose to listen to it or not.

What about the fear of FAILURE?

With the other kind of fear, the one that relates to a failure in the end of the road, the conversation is a little bit different.

Here, the fear of failure is usually DISBELIEF.

It can be disbelief in yourself or even disbelief in the universe (or God, what works       for you).
Disbelief that it can deliver you with what you really want in the best timing. Not the timing that you necessarily want, but just the right timing….

(I have a bunch of stories on that one – but I’ll save them for next time)

The fact is

Strong and motivated women, usually feels they have to be on top of things all the time, know what’s happening and when, how this story needs to end, what the results should be, they pursue perfection and push themselves for accomplishment.

But this kind of pressure only brings the opposite result.
More stress and bad feelings because you didn’t get exactly what you aimed for in the end.

One of the phrases (long one I know…) I use on myself when I come across a disbelief situation is:

“I do the best I can, with joy and happiness, with flow and lightheartedness, with no effort – and welcome every outcome with love!”   

You should try that.

It will keep you focused on what really matters – enjoying the journey.
It will help you deal with your fears and mental blocks that keeping you from getting what you should in this world.

This is the first step to overcome your fears.
You need to have this internal conversation with it, do some acceptance, and let go.

Hope you’ll try that.

In the comments below I would LOVE to know:

What’s your setbacks? Where do you feel fears are holding you back?

 

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